Anonymous Oscar Ballot 2020

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Best Actor In a Leading Role

I think what they say is true, that it’s easier to act when you’re tall so Adam Driver has an inherent advantage. A lot of people are lamenting the lack of diversity in this category, there are white men with blonde hair, black hair, brown hair, white hair and, in the case of Joker, even green hair, usually it’s just blonde or brown so I call this progress. I’m Episcopalian so I can’t vote for a Pope. My vote is going to have to be for Joaquin Phoenix in Joker, which my nephew Tyler loved.

Actress in a Leading Role

Scarlett Johansen was in a film called Marriage Story and yet spent the whole film trying to get out of a marriage, just doesn’t add up to me. I can’t spell or pronounce the girl from Little Women’s name so I literally can’t vote for her, which is a shame because i think she did an excellent job. Charlize Theron and Renee Zellweger both played real people, so they cancel each other out in my book. I will vote for Cynthia Erivo in Harriett, which I thought was a very original character and imaginative story.


This was a tough one, as all these films were no doubt filmed and shot. The Lighthouse was actually incredibly dark, which I thought was a gross oversight by the cameraman. I heard in 1917 they only had to do one take, which seems like less work than many of these films which took tens maybe even hundreds of takes. I will vote for The Irishman because it is the longest film and therefore required the most cinematography.

Best Sound Mixing

Technology isn’t really my thing; that’s more my nephew Tyler’s thing so I will let him pick. I know he likes Marvel films.

Best Original Screenplay

The category is ORIGINAL screenplay, but 1917 is based on a real life event (one of the World Wars) so that doesn’t seem very original to me. Something about space or fantasy would be pretty original since those are made up things but there are none of those here, instead it’s things that are not very original like “marriage.” Knives Out was interesting because yes there were knives in the story but also a lot of other things, like Jamie Lee Curtis who I loved in True Lies. I will vote for Knives Out.

Documentary Feature

I was under the impression Honeyland was about that actor Shia LaBeouf but I watched the whole thing and he didn’t appear even once. I don’t like to be tricked like that. The films about the war-torn Syria were very depressing, it would have been nice if they could have added some humor or uplifting elements to the story. I’m going to vote for American Factory which I hope is not political in any way, because I just don’t think the Oscars is the place for that, at the Indie Spirit Awards sure, but not the Oscars.

International Feature

No thank you!! If I want to read I’ll pick up the latest Dan Brown book, thank you very much.

Best Picture

I was having trouble logging into Netflix, I had been using an old co-worker’s Aunt’s account but I think she passed away so that caused an issue. Anyways, because I couldn’t log in I couldn’t watch The Irishman.

I was surprised not to see The Goldfinch on here, lots of great actors in that film, even some in glasses. I never saw the film but loved the book, which I absolutely read no matter what Karen in our book club says.

Speaking of beloved books; sure it’s a good book and film but I think in this day and age, it is irresponsible — especially from a female director — to title something Little Women. Maybe it’s just me but I believe women can be all shapes and sizes.

There’s a lot of talk of a “Bong Hive” surrounding this film Parasite; but frankly I don’t find anything commendable about a drug gang’s involvement in promoting a film. I have a nephew, Tyler, and I don’t need him being pushed on marijuana when he comes over to fix my Netflix account.

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